in the home stretch

The next set of blood test I will do will be this coming up Monday.  They are the tests where we expect the results to show my hormones balancing out in the right direction.  If all is well I should see a period cycle in mid February.  A lot of if’s.  again we just have to wait and see.  I wish they would just do an ultrasound to see if any of the folicles look like they are working.  I am tiered of waiting.
I spent a week in Montana with my friends “the Funks” we have known each other for ten years.  they are really good friends and good people.  They have five kids.  while i was there i remembered the moment i decided i wanted to have children of my own.  It was the moment that their third was born.  I was in the delivery room, I watched her come into the world, I panicked when she didn’t breath right away, I was overwhelmed when she started to cry, and when they handed her to her mother and she had that moment of instinct, she knew her mother, she knew what to do, it was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen .  I remember thinking “I want that” ” I want to do that someday, to be part of that someday”.  it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen or been a part of till that moment.  It was a perfect moment.  that was eight years ago.  I still remember everything it made me feel.  still makes me feel.  still has me have hope that i will have that someday