When we started this blog we said we would try to post often even if we didn’t have anything going on. I just wanted to acknowledge that we have been slacking in our blogging. there hasn’t been anything going on here really except waiting. I guess I thought no one would want to hear about the waiting. but I guess it has been more than waiting. like how I torture myself with every cramp I feel thinking,”oh is it starting?” how I have been so happy for my friend who is pregnant and at the same time sad because I want to be so much. worrying that something is wrong because it is taking so long. feeling a little emotional I guess. It is the time of year when I go in to the doctors for my yearly check to make sure I am still cancer free appointment. I know I don’t have anything to worry about in that department but it doesn’t make the testing any less dreadful, especially if we have to do bone marrow biopsy(ouch). but my doctor said we probably won’t have to this year since things have been going so well.
we asked Dr Silber about the time frame, he said not to expect regular periods for at least 140 days post op. so about one more month to go.
my body is definitely on a cycle even though I have not got a period yet. I have had mood swings, bloating and all the signs of pms, and a tiny bit of spotting. I started to track the days and used a home ovulation test yesterday and today which says ( if I am reading it right) we should be ovulating in the next 48 hours. this is really exciting so we will keep the site updated.
other than that, today was a beautiful day spent with my wonderful husband. We drove up to Napa, CA and did a little wine tasting and site seeing. the weather was so warm I even wore a dress.(not typical for a San Francisco summer) now we are home getting ready to throw some food on the grill and maybe snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie, and keep waiting together.
Mothers day came and went. I thought that iI might be sad because there hasn’t been any thing happening but it was actually fine. I went to a womens circle that was about honoring women and mothers and i said my intentions of trying to get pregnant. then on Sunday I went to a Maya fire ceremony lead by the Shaman that I went on my medicine journey with. It was really great and magical space and I spoke my intention into the fire and I was asked to beat the drum through the ceremony which he said was to be the heartbeat. I felt very honored. It was a good space to be at for that day and i am glad that I went. So now its back to waiting and waiting. I know its going to happen soon so stay tuned and I will post right away!
O.K. the waiting is getting old. I wish there was something I could do to just skip this part. yell out the happy yeah period started now let move on to making baby.
I think my cats have become very attuned to my sensitive moods because they are even more snuggly than usual. curling up with me in the mornings while I read in bed, they have all the patients in the world. maybe they are trying to bestow some of their cat wisdom onto me. They say in they purrrrrfect way its o.k. everything takes time. I know I just wish this time would move faster.
we are nearing the 85 day mark, which is when Dr Silber said we should start to expect my cycles to start back up again. sometimes I feel like a sexually active teenager just waiting for for her missing period. waiting, jumping at any sign that it might be here. I feel a tiny bit crampy, hopefully it is a good sign.
I had the second hormone test done with the results being about the same. so its just waiting. I am kind of sick of waiting. I am finding the places where my patients is running out. . I just want to get started, I want to start our family.
so keep your fingers crossed for me, any day now i should get my second First Period. I will post as soon as it happens, i am sure it will be big excited news for everyone who has been supporting us on this journey.
this passed week was spring break with my nieces Hannah and Ruby (7 & 5 yrs old) they came to San Francisco for the first part of the week because i thought we would have more things to do up here. We went to the science museum, we did crafts, we had tea at Lovejoy’s, we went to the park, we painted, we did all kinds of stuff. it was fun to have them here but a bit exhausting. on Thursday we drove back down to their house and on Friday Ruby and I went to Disneyland. it was great i had this moment of pure Auntie happiness, we were watching the princess coronation ceremony and there were three princesses, Moulan first then Aurora, then Bell. when Bell< who is Ruby’s favorite, walked out her face went OH. It was this perfect moment of seeing her caught in the magic of it. It was so great. We had a lot of fun at the end of the night she said “it was a great day”
It makes me even more excited to have My own children and to know that they have such great cousins to have in their lives and to do all of these things with, to have those moments, those magic moments
The past few weeks have been all about waiting.
The first set of tests got done last week, though we don’t know the results.
This Monday will be the 8 week mark, two months, one more month for the 85 days essentially.
We have both been really busy. Joy has been working and going to school, and have been working lots. The blog has been somewhat not updated, and i will start again to clog more often now.
My birthday just passed, and i have been thinking a lot about celebrating with family. How that will be once we have kids together. It is all very very exciting.
Tomorrow we are having a BBQ at a park with close friends. That is something i can’t wait to do and share with my kids, all the exploring of parks, and adventures.
Today I got to meet my friend Kristen’s baby, Jake, he is so cute. She is a radiant mom, just beaming with love for her new son and this new adventure into parenting. I wonder what it will be like to hold my babies for the first time. What it will be like to have that special bond that you see with moms and babies. to watch them growing so fast, already their own little person, will they be easy and sleep through the night like Jake or will they test my endurance with the waking through the night? I can’t wait to join the mother club. To have my own baby to learn and love and watch grow. I have already started looking at names and how I should be eating while I am pregnant, while I have a lot of experience with babies I don’t know much about being pregnant, it will be an interesting learning experience. hopefully I will do good.
It has been a perfect morning. I love the mornings when we don’t have to get up right away and we just snuggle and talk about anything and laugh. we are surrounded by the cats who have taken up their positions around us, Route and Data, till they decided that they are hungry and then they initiate the kitty wake up strategy. I was thinking what our mornings will be like when we are surrounded by our children who have crept into our bed at some point in the night and we wake up in a big tangle of family and pets all trying to stay snuggled up together on the bed. I will wake up to see Rodrigo watching us all the way he watches me sleep now, and I can see how much he loves us. and I look at our kids and feel so lucky to be there in that moment. so filled with love. I think we might need a bigger bed.
Another week has gone by, things continue to go great.
Just over the 4 week mark, and i am really looking forward to the 6 week mark.
Dr. Silber gave Joy lots of things that she could not do till the 6 week mark.
Any real exercise, lifting for heavy objects, things of that nature. To me it feels like after the 6 weeks, all the normal things we are use to doing we can do again, and that is wonderful.
This morning Joy was experiencing some pain around the area where hey ovary lies. When she told me i immediately went into “ohh no, what could be going wrong?”. After talking about it a little bit, it was fine. Thinking about it some more there is a part of me that is saying, humm perhaps these are cramps coming on for her, this could be her body gearing up. I get happy thinking about her body doing all the things it was design to do, all on its own. I know this is probably to early still for her to have a period, but non the less i keep on thinking what if it is….
I must be the only male that is happily awaiting for his woman’s period to start.
tick tock…
Took me a little while, and here it is.
Some comments on the piece. They filmed at our home and at Golden Gate park. They have Maeapple’s name as Mae :), but she goes by Maeapple.
Joy was 27 when she was diagnosed with Lymphoma, also the pictures used to show her at the hospital are from a month ago when we were in St. Louis for the ovary transplant, we just didn’t get GMA any pictures of Joy in the other hospital.